Bitter Pills

As I pass her room, her head is down on the table. I ask her if she is feeling alright. She shrugs her shoulders and says, "I just feel down."

This lady has been admitted for fractures after taking a tumble in her yard. Last evening, she apparently experienced a great deal of pain - "enough where I could just scream." She feels powerless and frustrated at her abrupt loss of mobility and independence.

"I suppose I just need to swallow my pride, like they told me," she says, still shaking her head in disbelief. It is a bitter pill to swallow, harder than any of the real pills I have given her to swallow.

There is no quick fix for pride. Nothing will magically catapult us over hard work, over the realities of shortcomings. There is no pill that magically restructures our motivations, thoughts, routines, and relationships.

I kneel to her level and encourage her as best as I know how, knowing all along that I could just as easily be taking my own advice.

Give yourself grace. Yes, it is difficult to acknowledge your weakness, brokenness, and inability to care for yourself. But, accepting help does not rob you of freedom or value. Take it slow; give yourself time. You are healing. Give yourself grace.

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"When you hold lightly these dreams and fears, you can be open to recieve every day as a new fay and to live your life as a unique expression of God's love for humankind." -Henri Nouwen